Ahhh, Sundays!

If someone asked me which day, Saturday or Sunday, is my favorite weekend day, my vote goes to Sunday. I try to schedule all chores - laundry, cleaning bathrooms, straightening up, garbage - to Saturdays. Some things you just can't do until the last minute like grocery shopping because the coupons come with the Sunday papers (yes, I subscribe to 2 printed papers). For the most part, though, I try to do as much as I can on Saturday so I can feel like I've had a condensed weekend on 1, not 2 days.

So how do I usually spend my "weekend" Sunday? Ironically, it's usually trying to fit it as many non-chores as possible. Non-chores are those things you don't have to do week after week but they ARE things you should or need to eventually get done. These include things like shopping for clothes, shoes, presents, etc. It also includes haircuts, visits with friends and family, or going to a movie. Rarely does it involve sitting around reading a book, getting a couple of hours more sleep, having a leisurely brunch with Clay or just...doing absolutely nothing. Actually, I can't do nothing but that's another to topic for another day.

I don't know if feeling like I've had a "weekend" is the result of feeling like I've accomplished enough (whatever that is) or that I've set aside one day to do as I please. But I do like my Sundays because it's the one weekend day to catch up with the rest of my life.

Moonlight over Dana Point

I just had to show off this picture from the other night. What do you think?

Tossing the Fries

I know, my mom tried to teach me not to throw food around but gosh darn it, it's fun. Well, let me explain. Every now and then when my husband is on the road and it's just me and my dog, Lani, I'll go out to grab a McD's just because I'm tired of leftovers. And I choose McD's not just because it's close by but because of their french fries. They are arguably the best fries around (sorry, In 'n Out. I love your burgers but not your cardboard tasting fries) and Lani loves them. So while I'm munching on my angus burger, I'll throw her one fry at a time. It's part entertainment, part training (so I rationalize to myself) and part exercise for Lani (another rationalization). Whatever the reason, she loves it and I don't end up wolfing down all the fries.

My little big sister (she's younger but taller) does the same thing with my brother's dog, Beau. To get him to exercise a bit at the grand old age of 15, she'll toss a little treat across the room. Beau chases it, gobbles up the treat and eagerly waits for the next one. It's fun, it's wholesome and keeps the doggies in good shape (yes, another rationalization). If you've got a dog or a cat who likes to play catch, try this out. You may find it a good alternative to TV or...dare I say, posting blogs!

Good Visit

I don't know if my family is normal, abnormal, dysfunctional or what. I do know that we have our ups and downs, that eccentricities run rampant amongst us all (myself included), and that communication has always been a major issue.

That said, I am glad and relieved that the unexpected visit from my mom and brother over the past few days turned out to be really quite nice! It started with my husband receiving the news of their visit well which is pretty much a miracle considering our home is his office and he really likes/demands quiet and orderliness, neither of which are strong traits in my family.

My brother, who almost always comes here in "quiet" mode and generally doesn't eat or respond to any of us, spent much of the time communicating with us through writing or talking which was a relief. Although he needed to be told to come to the table when it was mealtime, he always complied and cooked his own food, also a relief. I have to say that my brother, who has been employed by restaurants in the past and can cook up a storm, makes himself some really healthy meals using a combination of kelp, tofu, eggs, noodles and whatever vegetables he feels like using.

We had a good day visiting the Self Realization Fellowship (SRF) meditation gardens in Encinitas. I loved those gardens - it probably inspired me to get to work on mine over the weekend. We had a very healthy but delicious meal at a cafe across the way called, of all things, Swami's. Then, we drove up to Carlsbad to supposedly visit places that grow flowers but ended up shopping at Costco. Don't even ask!

The next day, we went to buy plants at a nearby nursery. What fun! I love to shop...for plants. My brother, who got an art degree and is incredibly creative and innovative, surprised me by spending much of the day relocating existing plants, digging holes for new ones and helping to arrange a really beautiful color pallette of flowers and shrubs. I am so delighted with the final result! My mom was equally helpful helping to shape up the bonsai junipers that had lost their forms. We were all sunburnt, sweaty and tired but it was a really good tired.

So now, I'm alone in this house with my dog and computer. My mom still can't be home with my brother lest he interfere with the cleanup effort going on there so she took off for my sister's house in the Bay area. She's going to be so exhausted upon her arrival late tonight. I feel so bad for them both. It's not the life I could've predicted nor wished for either. But I'm glad we had a really good visit, a feeling my brother echoed when I called him earlier this evening.

Kelly's Commissioning Celebration

It was so nice to meet more of Bill's family members and friends at Kelly's commissioning celebration. What a wonderful group of people! And Merna showed up looking really good considering the circumstances. I wish I can be as courageous and show as much grace as she did today if faced with similar circumstances. These kinds of life events only make it more important to live each day like it was the last one, and to make sure we let people know how much we love them.

I spent some time talking to Jane about, of all things, appropriate dress these days. I feel like I constantly overdress whether it's for Clay's events or things like this. Most everyone was in casual dress and here I was in a dressy top, black slacks and heels. Jane reminded me of something I know which is that over the past 30 years, everything is getting less formal. People go to church in t shirts, for heaven's sake! Always a fountain of wisdom and a wonderful mentor, Jane said that for her, the most important thing is not what others think but of how she feels. Amen to that. I will take that to heart and not spend so much time agonizing over what to wear anymore.

I wonder if others think about this or just think that jeans or casual is pretty much the standard dress code for most events nowadays?

Those Laid Back French

I kept wanting to write about this but forgetting until now. One of our tour guides mentioned that French workers work a total of 35 hours a week and take a mandatory 3 week vacation each year.

Hmmm, let's see, we Americans work 40 hours per week if we want to have a full time job and even though we may get 2 weeks of vacation (after working a probation period of sometimes up to a year), many of us choose not to take the entire time. Then, if we DO take time off, many of us stay in contact with work via email and/or CrackBerry phones.

What does that say about the French vs. Americans when it comes to the notion of joie de vivre (living life joyously or living life joylessly)? I'm not saying the French have it better or that Americans have it better. I really love what I do but why don't I feel guilt-free when I take time off? How about you? Can you take a vacation and not think about work and responsibilities at all? Let me know.

Stupid Commercials

Commercials are bad enough but at least the good ones are entertaining. Stupid commercials, however, are a waste of resources, time and my patience. Take the current ads promoting Canada tourism. All you have are screaming, hollering, noisy tourists which make my head hurt and teeth grind. As for my wanting to visit Canada, you can forget it with these commercials. Whoever hired the ad agency ought to make them pay for all the lost business as a result. If you're going to promote the beauty, the wilderness, the native spirit of the country, you don't need knee jerk yokels polluting the pristine environment with noise.

Must Be A Full Moon

Man oh man. I swear there's something to that saying, "when it rains, it pours."

Clay called yesterday afternoon to say we needed to visit a friend in the hospital who'd been fighting a courageous battle against what started out as liver cancer last year. Recently, it looked like he only had a couple of months to live but then Clay heard it was a week which was why we needed to visit. So after work, we drove up to the hospital. Bill was pretty much out of it with medication - so different from when Clay saw him on Sunday and even when his beautiful granddaughter, Kelly, talked to him that very morning. Everything seemed to be progressing so quickly but we were hoping he would make it until his sisters flew in the following morning. We stayed until about 9:30 p.m. and heard, the next day, that Bill passed away at about 2:15 a.m. Kelly has just graduated LMU in Los Angeles in their Naval ROTC program and is to be commissioned this Saturday. Fortunately, they had a private commissioning over the weekend so Bill could give her the first salute. Timing couldn't have been more perfect! Well perfect would've been for Bill to be able to attend Kelly's commissioning at LMU this Saturday but this was the next best thing.

At the same time all this drama is going on, there's my brother, Derick. I hate the disease that has imprisoned him and sentenced him to a half-life. Schizophrenia, paranoia and bipolar diseases are crippling in so many ways not just for the victim but for their families, as well. My mother and brother love to feed squirrels in their yard but that has led to a fat, growing population of squirrels AND rats! The neighbors on both sides are very unhappy and we can't blame them!

My little big sister has shouldered much of the burden of taking my mom and brother to all their medical appts and getting them to eat better, etc. Now, she's helping to get bids to help get rid of all the junk that's been collected over the years (imagine Sanford and Son), to mend or build fencing, to clear out huge invasive bamboo, etc. We're trying to do this to avoid lawsuits but also it's long overdue.

Unfortunately, my brother is doing his part to be an obstructionist which is not only frustrating my sister but further inflaming the situation with the neighbors. So, about the only thing we can do is get him and my mom away from the house so the work can begin and continue w/o any interference from him. So, they're coming...here, to Dana Point, for a few days. I can happily report that Clay's responded to my email informing him of this and, to my huge relief, he's accepting of the situation. Hallelujah!