Okay, So It's April

Not keeping up with this blog is a major reason why I don't make New Year's resolutions - they usually go right down the toilet along with other waste matters! BUT, I'm no quitter so here goes.

Since the last post, I've gotten over my FB (social networking) paranoia by friending people outside my family. It's been an interesting experience, especially friending total strangers who, I must admit, have been really pleasant to "chat' with even though the thing we have in common are FB games! Yeah, for those of you who don't play them, it must seem like a lame way to spend time but it's something I enjoy.

I've also enjoyed being able to put out a "help" call to my younger friends and am amazed at how quick they are to respond as well as how knowledgeable (at least when it comes to social networking things) they are.

So do I think FB is all that it's hyped to be? Yeah, I do. It's a quick way to touch base with mostly people I care about, it's a good way to get over some personal issues like, "will I sound stupid?" if I post thoughts, and it's a nice way to find out more about people when they post things. I'm pleasantly surprised at how much I like social networking even though I still use it with reservation!

It's a New Year...Already?!?

Despite my best effort to hold back the forces of time, it's overtaken me and continues to move on...tick, tick, tick. So now, like one of those Twilight Zone episodes, here I am on another January 1st, thinking that it was just yesterday that I was celebrating the last January 1st! Weird; scary. One of these days, I'll have to come to terms with time just going on with or without my sincerest desire to just slow down. Maybe the secret it really just to be aware of each moment and appreciate it even as it dissipates and is replaced by the next moment.

Okay then, here's to 9:48 p.m. on January 1, 2010. I'm sitting at my laptop at home, creating an entry in my blog as I reflect upon the day's events. And now, it's 9:49. The moment has passed; I have really lived in the present for that moment.

It's November - How did that happen so fast?

So here we make a jump from the start of school in September to the end of the first quarter in early November. How is it that time just flies by without so much as a "hello!"? Everyone, and I mean kids as well as adults, feel stressed and tired from what seems to be faster time. Why is it? What's so different about this year that makes us all feel like those rats running endlessly around and around on those wheels in their cages? I don't think I'm being cynical - odds are in my favor that if you're reading this, you can relate to these thoughts. Am I right?

WhatI force myself to try to remember is not that I'm that endlessly running rat (although I feel like that a lot) but that there are many choices I can make each and every day that can make a difference in the quality of my life. With the exception of a calamitous event like a huge earthquake or massive hurricane, we aren't victims of Life. It's that lemonade analogy - we can choose to see things as half empty or half full. I choose half full.

Going from 0-200 MPH in a New School Year

VROOOOOOOM! That's the sound of my engine but it's not revving up. Sadly, it's the noise of an overworked motor much like an old jalopy limping uphill.

As much as one tries, there's no such thing as a teacher being totally prepared for that first week of school. You can try but there's alway, and I mean always, a few things that just can't be done before the kids get there or that Mother Fate will throw at you because your life just isn't challenging enough.

Although the work load was pretty even this summer, it was still busy with video work and trying to get the media lab in shape before Ian left. I went ahead and took time off before school started so it felt like I got in some vacation time, and that was a great decision. Nevertheless, the work was still there staring me in the face upon my return. And what a pile it's turned out to be!

There've been several video projects, one after another, to crank out and, with my production club students not yet as available to help out as in the past, my stress level has been going up as deadlines are approaching.

So, my ultimate challenge and goal these days is...to breathe deep, to really appreciate the challenges for the things I learn as a result, and to live the words of Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity Prayer (God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference).

Bigotry in the OC. Surprised? Not.

Something happened when we went to lunch today which got my blood boiling.

My husband and I took our host son out for a last lunch here in Dana Point before he heads back to the great state of Texas. It was a good lunch, by the way. I had a crab/shrimp salad in half of papaya with a delicious citrus dressing.

On our way out, we were behind a group of people who obviously had had a good time together. "Want to know what the Obama song is?" quipped an elderly man to the others in the group. "Moving on Up!" From the amount of laughter I heard, everyone must've thought it was pretty darn funny.

The thing is that if you remember the 1975 sitcom, "The Jeffersons", it's basically about an upper middle class African American family that moves into a luxury high rise apartment. The show's theme song? "Moving on Up". Are you laughing? Then you need to read this. Are you as disgusted as I was? Then we need to remind people that bigotry and racism is still very much alive and well in many parts of the country. In this instance, it's the OC in Southern California, home of the John Birch Society and countless other hate groups.

Much of my life has been spent among Caucasians. Most have been and are decent, hardworking people who would be appalled at being labeled a "racist" or "bigot". But hearing all the snide remarks, jokes or stories about people of color was not uncommon. I was never quite sure why people felt free to say these things in front of me, an Asian American, but they did.

Do you do this? Are you even aware of saying things that denigrate others, particularly groups of people whether it's color, race, religion, sexual identity, handicaps? Do you justify such humor by saying things like, "it was just a joke!", "don't be so politically correct!", or "oh, you know I don't really mean it!"

When you're around someone who's telling these kinds of jokes, do you find yourself laughing even if you know you shouldn't? Do you justify your behavior by telling yourself you're not racist, that you know people of color and some of them are your friends?

When is it okay to laugh at another being? When are we being "too serious"? I don't want to live the rest of my life without humor, and I certainly don't intend on being politically correct. It's just that too many of us live with little lies that justify wrongness. We think we are champions of goodness by donating to a cause or cleaning out our closets or volunteering to help "them". And then we show our true colors by either telling a joke or laughing at another's expense.

I didn't say anything at the time. Maybe I should have. What do you do in these situations? Do you say something? Do you get mad? Is it a big deal at all?

My 4th Year Anniversary

It dawned on me that this is the 4th year since my breast cancer diagnosis. I've seen my oncologist and had my annual squish-o-gram (aka mammogram), and the good news is that all is well. My oncologist says one more year on medication...I can hardly wait for one less pill to take!

Having a life altering health issue has its silver lining, though. I've learned to separate what's truly important from the everyday hum drum irritating stuff that happens even though I still grit my teeth more often than I'd like. People either chuckle or grimace when I mention my "bucket list" but having goals is a good thing. It gives me something to live for and want to achieve. Things on my bucket list include parachuting, visiting as many states as possible (I still think America is one of the most interesting places to visit on this planet), seeing the Aegean Sea based on all the books I've read about it, visiting the Valley of the Kings in Egypt, visiting the Acropolis, taking a cruise to Alaska before all the glaciers melt (!!!).

Appreciating a beautiful sunset, studying the face of a loved one while loving just being in the moment, putting on good headphones and listening to some favorite music, seeing fireworks and never forgetting the child-like joy and awe as they rocket into the sky and explode in a myriad of color and pattern, taking my dog for a walk and actually enjoying it instead of wishing it was over, giving thanks for each opportunity to make a difference. These are but a few examples of each day's gifts.

Sometimes I get scared when there's news about someone dying from cancer, especially when they were in remission for a while. It's hard not to wonder how long I might be cancer free before boom, it comes back. I guess this is what a time bomb feels like - you just never know. But then, I think I might've been the poor fella who got shot in the face by Bush, and a spring comes back into my step and I'm okay again.

Ahhh, Sundays!

If someone asked me which day, Saturday or Sunday, is my favorite weekend day, my vote goes to Sunday. I try to schedule all chores - laundry, cleaning bathrooms, straightening up, garbage - to Saturdays. Some things you just can't do until the last minute like grocery shopping because the coupons come with the Sunday papers (yes, I subscribe to 2 printed papers). For the most part, though, I try to do as much as I can on Saturday so I can feel like I've had a condensed weekend on 1, not 2 days.

So how do I usually spend my "weekend" Sunday? Ironically, it's usually trying to fit it as many non-chores as possible. Non-chores are those things you don't have to do week after week but they ARE things you should or need to eventually get done. These include things like shopping for clothes, shoes, presents, etc. It also includes haircuts, visits with friends and family, or going to a movie. Rarely does it involve sitting around reading a book, getting a couple of hours more sleep, having a leisurely brunch with Clay or just...doing absolutely nothing. Actually, I can't do nothing but that's another to topic for another day.

I don't know if feeling like I've had a "weekend" is the result of feeling like I've accomplished enough (whatever that is) or that I've set aside one day to do as I please. But I do like my Sundays because it's the one weekend day to catch up with the rest of my life.