Bigotry in the OC. Surprised? Not.

Something happened when we went to lunch today which got my blood boiling.

My husband and I took our host son out for a last lunch here in Dana Point before he heads back to the great state of Texas. It was a good lunch, by the way. I had a crab/shrimp salad in half of papaya with a delicious citrus dressing.

On our way out, we were behind a group of people who obviously had had a good time together. "Want to know what the Obama song is?" quipped an elderly man to the others in the group. "Moving on Up!" From the amount of laughter I heard, everyone must've thought it was pretty darn funny.

The thing is that if you remember the 1975 sitcom, "The Jeffersons", it's basically about an upper middle class African American family that moves into a luxury high rise apartment. The show's theme song? "Moving on Up". Are you laughing? Then you need to read this. Are you as disgusted as I was? Then we need to remind people that bigotry and racism is still very much alive and well in many parts of the country. In this instance, it's the OC in Southern California, home of the John Birch Society and countless other hate groups.

Much of my life has been spent among Caucasians. Most have been and are decent, hardworking people who would be appalled at being labeled a "racist" or "bigot". But hearing all the snide remarks, jokes or stories about people of color was not uncommon. I was never quite sure why people felt free to say these things in front of me, an Asian American, but they did.

Do you do this? Are you even aware of saying things that denigrate others, particularly groups of people whether it's color, race, religion, sexual identity, handicaps? Do you justify such humor by saying things like, "it was just a joke!", "don't be so politically correct!", or "oh, you know I don't really mean it!"

When you're around someone who's telling these kinds of jokes, do you find yourself laughing even if you know you shouldn't? Do you justify your behavior by telling yourself you're not racist, that you know people of color and some of them are your friends?

When is it okay to laugh at another being? When are we being "too serious"? I don't want to live the rest of my life without humor, and I certainly don't intend on being politically correct. It's just that too many of us live with little lies that justify wrongness. We think we are champions of goodness by donating to a cause or cleaning out our closets or volunteering to help "them". And then we show our true colors by either telling a joke or laughing at another's expense.

I didn't say anything at the time. Maybe I should have. What do you do in these situations? Do you say something? Do you get mad? Is it a big deal at all?